MOMMY-WOOD: Kids & Labeling

Photo is not mine. Credit is given to the owner.

Kids...Kids...Kids... You both love them and hate them. They can be both an angel and a devil... An angel when they are sleeping soundly. A devil when they go berserk and throw tantrums. But, no matter how your kids look or behave, there is this one thing that every parent should avoid. BAD LABELING. 

Bad boy! Fat-so! Spoiled brat! Those are just examples of bad labeling. When a child misbehaves, a parent scolds the child and tells them what a bad child they have been. When a child asks for something that the parent doesn't want to give then throws tantrums, the parent would sometimes tell them they are such a spoiled brat. I am guilty of this and I know I am not alone. 

According to an article in a previous issue of Smart Parenting, the parents are doing this to make their child guilty of their behavior in the hopes that they will try to be better. However, this is not an effective way to address the issue since we are highlighting the negative behavior. The tends to focus on this behavior and the situation may become worse.

Photo is not mine. Credit is given to the owner.

I remember telling my two-year old son that he was a bad boy and slap his hand lightly whenever he would do something wrong. However, as time goes by, he would just ignore me whenever I scold him. He no longer cries whenever I slap his hand. Arggghhh! Parenting can be so confusing! 

The article also stated that "things repeatedly said to a child are absorbed automatically". Best thing that a parent can do is use positive/good labeling to encourage your child to behave well. 

When a friend asks you if your child is spoiled, don't let them hear you talk negative about them. Instead, say something positive. Tell your friend that you have a good kid and that you don't have any problem with his/her attitude. And, make sure that your kid hears this! It will boost their confidence and will encourage them to continue their positive behavior.

I'm actually trying out this technique for a couple of weeks now and so far, I think I'm seeing some results on my hyperactive kid. He listens now to what I am saying and wants to prove to me that he is a good boy. I'll give you an update after a month or so.

Photo is not mine. Credit is given to the owner.

At the end of the day, you just really have to be more patient with your toddlers/kids.  If you are not going to love them just the way they are, who else will? 

How about you? Do you have any parenting woes? Come on and share with us!